033: Five Steps to Empathic Mastery with Jennifer Moore

Jennifer Moore

Supporting intuitives, lightworkers, and creatives to use their abilities for good, Jennifer Moore, is passionate about helping highly sensitive, empathic women. As one of 21 of the United States’ 21 Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) International Master Trainers and a mentor and healer, she has made her way to the Amazon Bestseller list as the author of Empathic Mastery. Along with this, she hosts a must-listen podcast The Empathic Mastery Show.

💝 Key Takeaways

  • Jennifer’s definition of an empath and how we differ from mediums, psychics and other people with extrasensory awareness.
  • How we are so affected by other’s energies that actually come from outside ourselves and why we so often struggle with the same things as other HSPs and empaths.
  • The 5 essential steps to go from an emotional hot mess to a thriving success.

Nature abhors a vacuum

🔗 Where You Can Find Jennifer

🌹 Rose’s Resources

📖 (Imperfect) Transcript

We use Descript to provide this transcript which isn’t always perfect but wonderful all the same. (affiliate link 😃)

Rose: Hey, it’s Rose and welcome to another episode of The Sensitive CEO show. And in this week’s episode, I’m very excited to introduce you to Jennifer Moore. Jennifer supports intuitives light workers and creatives to use their abilities for good, and she’s passionate about helping highly sensitive empathic women.

So welcome, Jennifer. It’s lovely to talk with you today.

Jennifer: Oh, Rose, thank you so much for having me here today. It’s really a delight to connect with you.

Rose: And you too. Before we hit record, I was sharing with you that I just had a quick look at your book on Amazon and it looks amazing and that is what we’re talking about today.

So your book is Five Steps to empathic mastery, a five step system to go from emotional hot mess to thriving success. I mean, how cool is that ?

Jennifer: Yes. Yes. And I can definitely speak from former hot mess. So , and you know, pretty much everything in the book is stuff that I have learned through trial and error and, It, it, it ha it is.

I, the way I think about this book is that I think of it as a love letter that I wrote to my younger self and hopefully to my future incarnation that can find this book early on in her life so she doesn’t have to go through the trials and errors that I went through last time. Oh, wow. For this time,

Rose: I love that you are thinking of your future incarnation already.

That’s very organized

Jennifer: I’m a Capricorn with Virgo Rising, so I am very organized.

Rose: Oh, I’m a Capricorn too.

Jennifer: Ah, Capricorn’s Unite. Yes, and Capricorn’s rule, but we have the very much, we have the humility to not say that like certain other Zodiac signs, they claim to be leaders. Absolutely.

Rose: Yeah. So before we dive into your book in the five steps, I have a, I guess a personal question I’d love to ask you is what led you to write the book?

Jennifer: Ah, so before I go into that, one of the things I would actually like to define and, and that may help is, the definition for me as what is an empath mm-hmm. , because, you know, it’s a word that’s getting thrown around a lot right now and a lot of people like identify as empath. A lot of people I’m an empath and so I just wanna be sure.

that You and I and the audience are all on the same page. So for me, an empath is a, being not just a human, but a being who picks up the thoughts, the feelings, the energy and the sensations from the world. Sometimes it’s from the world around them, but sometimes it’s from across the globe. It could be like, you know, you’re in Australia, but you’re feeling what’s going on in Ukraine?

I’m in America, but I’m feeling what’s going on in Ukraine. The thing that is different about an empath than somebody with other kinds of extra sensory perception, like a medium or a psychic or somebody with one of the Claires or many of the Claires or a and somebody with a lot of intuition is that em.

Process all the information that is coming to them through their own sensory and emotional and mental filters. And we process the information as if it is our own. Mm-hmm. . And so the reason that I wanted to share this first, Is because one of the really big challenges of being an empath is that we feel intensely, and because we process things as if it’s our own, we often think that the problem is us.

We often think that we are the one going through this, and there must be something wrong because all of a sudden we’re feeling really anxious, or we’re feeling really sad, or f we’re feeling really angry. and many and, and I will say that in the years that I have been working with other empaths and interviewing other empaths for my podcast, which is called the Empathic Mastery Show and just, and, and just being on podcasts like this and just everywhere I have met one.

Highly sensitive empath who has not had the experience of being told as children that they were too sensitive, that they were overreacting, that they were taking things too personally, that they just needed to suck it up and get over it. And I, like I said, one person I know who did not have that experience, everybody else, like the hundreds if not thousands of empaths that I actually, thousands of empaths that I’ve talked.

we all have had the experience of being kind of gaslit for having the feelings that we have. So I really thought as a small child, picking up all the thoughts, the feelings, the energy, the sensations that were going on in the world around me, that there was something wrong with me. I was told that I had an overactive imagination, that I was too sensitive and that I just needed to develop a tougher skin.

And it wasn’t until I started to do some real personal work on dealing with, in many ways kind of. Impact of being highly sensitive because I turned to sugar, especially as a way to self-soothe and as a way to kind of try to find my way through it. The problem with that is that it was not a great solution and it ended up basically causing more problems than it solved, and so I ended up in recovery from an eating disorder and working on myself.

And that started to lead me to working with a really great therapist. He started to help me recognize that a lot of times when stuff was coming up, it was because I had been in contact with somebody who had been going through something, or I had been, I had experienced something, or there was an event that was like, often I’d be sensing an event and then a couple days later something would happen.

And she was the first person who helped me to start recognizing. how so much of this stuff that I was thinking was mine was actually coming from outside of myself. Mm-hmm. . And when I started to recognize what was coming from outside of myself and be able to create some distance and some separation between me and all of the feelings that were coming up, I my, that was a complete game changer for me and.

over the years as I felt an experienced Raider relief for myself. I am the kind of person I’m, you know, I’m a Capricorn son, but I’m Virgo Rising, so being able to offer support, being able to be of service is a really big part of my makeup. Like it really, you know, it’s, it’s who I am. And in that ability to be of service, one of the things that really motivated me was having experienced.

I know how much, how hard it is to not feel good. I really wanted to offer solutions to other people, so I developed my chops as a healer. I first became a Reiki practitioner and trained in breath work and became a breath worker. I trained and studied. I have a master’s degree in psychology and religion, and I also did a two year long shamonic apprenticeship as well as another.

Body centered, spiritual healing, energy healing training, emotion code. And then, but the modality I love the most is actually E F T emotional Freedom techniques. And I’m actually one of, you know, a very small number of, of, of E F T master trainers for EFT International. Bottom line is I started to do this work and offer the work to other people, and the thing I kept finding was that so many of the people that I was working with were struggling with the same thing, thinking that they were responsible for all the feelings that they were feeling, thinking that they were the cause of the issues that were going on when they were actually highly sensitive and empathic and so frequently the stuff that was affecting them.

Was coming from an outside source. And so I, I had a realization many years ago talking with a client about what she had been experiencing, and I started to, I was like, oh, I really need to write a book about this. And the working title was originally the care and Feeding of your Psychic Self when living in a muggle world.

And I, and because I just could see how so many people who are highly sensitive are like, we expect ourselves to behave like, and to experience the world the way quote, you know, the muggles do, or the ordinary people do, but it’s not the same. And the gaslighting that ends up happening to us, not necessarily because people are deliberately wanting to gaslight us, but because.

Effective and experience is so different is just can be so utterly debilitating. So that is a very long answer to, the question of what motivated me to write this book or how did I get started?

Rose: I love it and I love all the modalities that you shared. the shamanic modality. Wow. That is something I’m totally interested in.

And I was reading your bio earlier, that you are one of the international master trainers of E F T. Yeah. Which is wonderful. So do you have an academy where you teach

Jennifer: other people? So I, yes, so basically I actually teach virtually and I do a very comprehensive level one and two professional EF f t training once a year.

I do the, I do the sort of the brass, you know, the nuts and bolts of EF f t, and that’s gonna be actually coming up, I don’t know when this episode will be airing, but it’s gonna be coming up, the next round is coming up in April of 2023. And, Absolutely love to teach E F T, and because it is one of the most remarkable tools, and for anybody who’s not familiar with this term, it’s called the E F T stands for Emotional Freedom Techniques.

And the simplest way to describe it is to say that it’s kind of like mental and emotional acupuncture without the needles. What’s wonderful about it is that it is an incredibly gentle way. To release the places in our bodies, our minds, our hearts, our souls, where we have stuck energy, where we are carrying around limiting beliefs, where we may be carrying, congestion in our bodies that’s causing us pain, as well as memories that are kind of replaying or in a tape loop for us.

And the beautiful thing is when applied. Effectively and very mindfully, and using the techniques that E F T International teaches you can address and clear really big stuff without having to go back through it or get dragged through the mud. And that’s the thing I absolutely love about it. So I have, overall I have you know, sort of, I guess what I would say is sort of the Empathic Mastery Academy, which there’s sort of different arms of what I offer because I do a sort of, in the spring I teach E F T, and in the fall I run people through the five steps of empathic Mastery. And to learn more you can go to E F T.

An EFT instruction.com for the EFT side of it and for the empathic mastery side of it, that’s empathic mastery academy.com. So that’s like, so there we are.

Rose: Wonderful. Well, I’ll pop those links, I’ll make sure I’ve got those links and pop them in. Thank you so much. Yeah. this episode I just had a quick check, will be early April, so that’s very good timing.

Jennifer: Very good timing because the training is going to be starting on April 15th, so if people are interested, please reach out to me.

Rose: Wonderful. So Jennifer, I’d love to dive into the five step system from your book.

Jennifer: Wonderful. Okay, so, okay. let me start, I’ll start by explaining the five steps. So basically, and I’ll first say that the reason I created five Steps is that I often found that the solutions that I had been taught, In my spiritual travels did not work for me so often in the psychic development programs and the other sort of spiritual development, it’s all about opening yourself up to receive more information.

The thing is that most of us were highly sensitive empaths. We’re already getting too much information. So our issue is not about being receptive and abor and, and being able to get information. It’s about being able to process that information and be know how to take care of ourselves. The other. I found was that a lot of times people would say things like, oh, just send love and light to it, or just put a ball of light up around yourself.

The problem with just putting a ball of light up around yourself is the first. You know, sort of the first course of action is that if you’re already carrying around a lot of negativity or toxicity or stuff you’ve absorbed from other people, the problem with that is that then putting that ball of light up around you is kind of like putting, putting like gasoline into a pressure cooker.

It is. You know, it’s sort of like you got a problem in there already and the ball of light is just gonna actually, amplify it, not reduce it. So what I discovered was that before we could start really protecting ourselves, we needed to do a couple things first. So the first step of empathic mastery is recognize, and that is all about recognizing.

First off and recognize that first was just like, what’s mine? What’s not mine? But what I discovered is there’s actually multiple steps to recognize. First, we actually have to recognize ourselves as an empath. We have to recognize that we are sensitive and, and own that identity and give ourselves some grace that we don’t experience the world the same way that a lot of other people do.

Once we recognize that, then we need to recognize our defaults. We need to recognize what we feel like when we’re feeling quote normal unquote, or when we’re at our own personal baseline, so that we can recognize when we are not at our baseline, when something is feeling out of sorts. When something is feeling weird.

When something is feeling different. . And so that’s sort of that idea of being able to first recognize ourselves and then recognize when we don’t feel like ourselves, when we feel wonky, when we feel off kilter, we feel out of sorts. And then once we know, oh, I feel different, I feel kind of like maybe I’m picking something up.

Then what we do is we rec, we start working on the recognizing. What’s mine, what’s not mine? And so I really love to do a really simple exercise, which is when I notice I’m feeling off, I’ll put my hands over my heart and I’ll take a deep breath and I’ll usually close my eyes and kind of lean into my heart and I ask the question, is this mine?

And I will say that pretty much like 9.9 times outta 10, the answer is yes, and that some of it is mine. Some of it is coming from my own history, my own memories, my own stuff. But a, but also other parts of it are coming from outside of me. And so once I have that sense of like, yes, this is, this is only yours or no.

this is coming from outside of you. But like I said, most of the times it’s a little bit of both. I will then ask the question, what is mine? What is not mine? And from that, then we can start looking at where is this coming from? What is this really about? because there are so many different places and ways that information can be coming to us, it can be coming to us.

You know, there’s like the whole time and space spectrum as well. You know, sort of like from very, very personal to global or actually galactic. So it’s really, it recognizes a very, is a very nuanced thing, but at first it’s just like, oh, I’m feeling something. . The second step is release. And release is all about letting go of that which no longer serves us.

And that is where I do a lot of work with E F T. That is where I do a lot of work with other modalities. And really how do we learn to reboot ourselves? How do we learn to let go of the stuff that is no longer serving us? How do we relax ourselves? And right now, I think as a civilization, Many of us, especially, you know, three years into a global pandemic, many of us regard, you know, and regardless of where any of us fall in terms of our, our perspective about it or belief in it or anything, I think all of us can acknowledge that it has been a phenomena that is affect.

Pretty much everybody on the planet, and this has been a very stressful time for many of us on this planet. And so as a result of that, I think that many, many, many people have experienced either our very aware that their nervous system is even more dysregulated than it was. Or if they were lucky enough to have a regulated nervous system before, have experienced their nervous system getting very dysregulated.

So rele, so release is not only about letting go of the stuff that no longer serves us, but it’s also about regulating a dysregulated nervous system and bringing us back to a state of equilibrium back to a state of, of, of. Of grace, and for some of us, this may not be from this lifetime. Like I did not personally experience a completely calm nervous system until I was in my early fifties and I just turned 60.

On Christmas day, so I’ve been at this for a little while, but I had a very anxious mother who was very high strung and I picked up her anxiety in utero. And so my entire, my nervous system came into this world hijacked and very, very, Like sent off. So the second step is release. The third step is protect, and that is where we start setting up and establishing better filters and shields energetically for ourselves, but also strategically for ourselves.

Because having a ball of light or a, you know, a. A, a fluffed up aura is one thing, but having boundaries where it, where we can say, no, I’m not going to do that, is also a really important part of this. So protect is about, Creating filters and shields that protect us on an energetic level so that we’re not as porous and absorbing things.

But it’s also about the choices that we make, about what we will engage with and what we won’t engage with because. Often empaths feel such a sense of urgency to rush, to rescue, to be responsible for other people to people, please, that we will often sort of throw ourselves under the bus. So recog, so protect can be as much about not going on.

At like nine 30 at night after a really long day where you’re really tired can also be about when your drunk B F F or your crazy family member decides to send you a nutty text at 1130 at night, not responding to it and trusting that the this person or these people have resources in their life that are not us.

And. Protect for me. Two things I really love to live by are the sayings. There’s the Polish, the Polish Proverb of Nama Circus, not my monkeys . And so that’s one that I really love to live with for my boundaries is like remembering like Nama Circus, not my monkeys. As well as, something that I heard many years ago that I love and I live by is your poor planning does not constitute my emergency because em.

Feel people’s will, empass feel people’s desire and empass feel people’s sense of urgency. And so as a result of that, often what happens is we feel like we need to do something when really it’s not our responsibility and it’s not our job. We’ve also noticed that for many of us as empaths, we feel if we have not done our own personal work on our own emotional issues, triggers and pain.

We get our pain will get stirred up when we’re around other people’s pain. We feel better when other people feel better, and so often what we will be doing is trying to go in and make things better or fix things because it just doesn’t feel as awful to be around somebody who feels okay as it does to feel be around somebody who’s going through a hard time, but especially if we’ve never learned how to hold.

For discomfort within ourselves first and in other people on the other side. The fourth step after we’ve done the protect and set up sort of more of these better boundaries is connect because the universe of horror is a vacuum. And the thing is that if we just keep going through the first three cycles of recognize, release, protect.

We will often continue to reat, attract and to recreate situations where we’re drawing negativity back in. And so connect is about connecting with a power greater than ourselves, a force of goodness that is in the world, and filling ourselves up with. Positivity and sort of going towards joy as opposed to, and delight and wonder and amazement as opposed to continuously focusing on the negative things.

Because you know, if you’ve ever studied metaphysics and a lot of in-law of attraction, where our mind goes is what? We manifest in what we, what we amplify in our life. So when we are focusing on being in the divine, being in the light, being in that connection, then what we’re doing is we’re amplifying that and it has this spectacular way of kind of, like just shifting the whole game so that we are not worrying as much as we.

Kind of living in the vibration of grace. So the fourth step is connect, and then the fifth step is Act, because Words Without Works is dead. If we do not take action, if we do not actually implement what we’ve learned, then we’ll be sort of in, you know, our egos might be sort of just thinking through all the things, but we’re not gonna embody it.

We’re not gonna integrate it, and we’re not necessarily going to live the life we’re here to live. And so act is really about how do I live in the world as a responsible empath? And in my experience, This often has a great deal to do with. , how do we live impeccably? How do we live with integrity? And that again, has to do with having ethics.

That has to do with not just going in and probing somebody psychically because we can not just going in and rushing into rescue somebody or volunteering ourselves for something when somebody hasn’t even asked for a. Hasn’t even asked us or given us consent or permission. So ACT is very much about how do we live in the world in a way that is mindful, is respectful, is consensual, and is with a great deal of integrity.

So those are the five steps of empathic mastery.

Rose: Oh, I love that. There’s so much information that you’ve just shared there, Jennifer. Thank you. And it sounds like you’ve given us all your book, but I, I’m sure there’s so much more in there to really dive in.

Jennifer: Oh, believe me, there’s so much more. So I’ve, I mean, it’s 380 pages and, you know, and then I actually created, I just.

Published for, not that, not that the audience can see, but I’m holding up my, my other, my newest book, empathic Mastery Diary, my newest solo, which is a guided journal to live as the intuitive badass you’re meant to be. And this is kind of like a workbook that leads you through 52 weeks of the year that helps you, that really helps you to recognize, release, protect, connect, and act.

And what I will say is that I’ve just given you the framework. The book will give you the how. The first part of the book is all about what does it mean to be an empath? Why are we this way? I actually share some science behind it and talk about things like inherited family trauma and like all of the ways that we can be deeply impact.

And, and why we are like this. And then the second half is the, each chapter is one of the five steps and I take you through, but I don’t just explain it. In theory, I give you very solid tools. I explain how to use the tools, and I also have a gift, which is basically a mini course. It’s actually, it’s not even a mini course, it’s a course

but for, to get people started, on really getting, just really getting empathic mastery and the foundation of that kind of underneath them so that they can really start making a difference and changes in their life. So that, yeah, so even though I’ve definitely given a really good snapshot, the how is what this book is about.

Rose: Brilliant. And I’ll pop all those links into the show notes and the new diary looks amazing too. So, Look, I have so many more questions I wanna ask, but we are already up for time so I’m gonna have to leave it there unfortunately. But maybe you can come back on the show at some stage, Jennifer and I can, I would be delighted

Jennifer: to come back and have more ques answer more questions cuz it feels like we just got rolling, so.

Yes, exactly. Yes, whenever, whenever you’ll have me, I will be here. Wonderful.

Rose: Well thank you so much and thank you everybody for tuning into another episode.

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